Happy New Year!
I’m unhappy to report that this is the first time I’ve written anything Fit Me Baby related in what feels like forever.
Towards the end of 2017, things with school and work really started piling up and I had a decision to make. I could continue to worry about writing meaningful blog posts and how the hell I’d find time to create them… or I could focus on my schooling and do my best to survive the last few weeks of my hardest semester yet, and impending finals to write (and ridiculous standards I set for myself to do well on them). I went with later and am proud to say my expectations were exceeded.
So here we are, the first day of 2018. Only, it doesn’t feel like a “here we are, a whole new year, things to do, goals to make” etc. kind of day. If I’m being honest, it feels like the opposite of the start of a new year, or the start of anything at all. Today feels tired to me, unoriginal and unexciting to be quite frank.
If you follow me on Instagram you’ve probably seen that we were away for the New Years long weekend. It was the perfect end to a year of hard work, and every bit of the escape I knew that I needed. But while my soul and body felt refreshed while we were there, I journeyed home today feeling hungover from the bliss, and unexcited to be headed back.
I stared blankly out the window on the ferry, slowly moped around unpacking from our travels, and reluctantly packed up any sign that Christmas existed in our little home. I was angry to be cold again and unimpressed as we fought our way through Superstore to refill the fridge with my best effort for “new year” food. I’ve been scrolling through Instagram, hoping some of the magic from everyone else’s vibes will somehow jump off the screen and head over my way, but it just doesn’t seem to be happening for me.
So tonight, in an attempt to shift my energy, I rolled out my yoga mat, lit up my favorite smelly candle, and immersed myself with body mind and spirit. With every breath, in and out, I let go of expectations and worried less about what I was “supposed” to feel. I accepted that today was not my freshest start, and it was okay to be okay with that. As I sat there, palm to palm, I decided I’d have a “New Years Do-Over” and that tomorrow would be a better start.
Even here in bed right now, I’m re-reading over the words that have flown from mind to keyboard, and am not all that happy with the result. I’m uncomfortable with the thought of imperfection, and wish I was able to find the words that usually come easier. But maybe it doesn’t flow how I’d like it to, maybe there’s not enough catchy whit with my first post of the year… but it’s honest if nothing else.
January 2nd– a fresh start.